navigating the subway
When I first moved to New York City in 2006 I found it easy to settle into my new city lifestyle. I learned the word “Bodega” and the best way to catch a cockroach. These sort of lessons seems to come easily. The hard part was getting a hang of public transportation. To this day I only take the bus if I don’t have to transfer. Many a time I found myself in the wrong part of Brooklyn simply because the stop was named after streets I thought I recognized. Eventually I got the system down and now I ride the subway fearlessly every day, but it wasn’t just the actual navigation that really tripped me up. It was the sort of people you encounter when riding from point A to point B.
You have the usual suspects of course. The nose picker, the smelly guy, the girl who eats a four course meal in a smelly car with strangers. Sometimes, though, you get lucky and have the real winners in your section of the train. Like the homeless man who starts to preach. I will always remember one man who was asking for change and explained, “Remember folks, you can’t take it with you, so give it to me!” He is right I suppose. He was harmless of course. There are the slightly scarier homeless as well. For example one late night I was riding home when I saw a man who was throwing bread out of bag saying “I ain’t go no bread, I ain’t got no bread!” Meanwhile he was also chewing then spitting up the bread that he claimed to not have. Then there are the perverts. The people who do things that should be reserved for private venues. I will leave that up to your own imaginations.
What I think bothers me most would have to be the absolutely sane and normal people who should know better. The incredibly rude individuals who have no excuse for their behavior. Like men who take up two spaces on the train because for some reason they are unwilling to let their knees touch one another. I can see no need for someones legs to be that spread out in public. Scoot over and let another person sit down on the crowded subway. There are also the folks who use up two spaces for bags, newspapers, briefcases, etc. Items that can easily be put on ones lap or on the ground are given their own spot right next to their clueless owner. Then there are the people who do not give up a seat for the elderly, children, or pregnant women. As long as I am an able bodied woman I will always give up a seat for someone who might need it more.
Luckily these seat hogs can be avoided by simple not sitting or standing near them. What cannot always be avoided is the person who chooses to sit next to you. Like the incredibly smelly guy who makes you gag. A trick to avoid this if you are unable to move it to plant your nose into your shirt. Chances are your shoulder smells better than Mr. BO. My personal favorite subway neighbor is the person who is half asleep. I like to call these riders “buoys” because like a buoy on the open sea the bob up and down and back and forth with the current. The danger is when they bob in your direction. My stress level immediately rises as they slowly lean into my direction then snap back up moments before they make contact with my head and shoulder. My heart pounds as I think, “Oh God…Oh shit. This dude is going to touch me and its going to be awkward and I can’t handle the stress of this situation. Oh no here he comes again for round two!” This scenario seems to happen to me a lot. I suppose I look like a nice place to rest.
After five years I have gotten pretty good at scoping out the best standing or sitting location. End seats are preferable. If you must stand don’t go for the obvious choice of the spot near the door, you are more likely to get a seat if you position yourself somewhere in the center. Finally, always bring a distraction whether it is a book or music. This move with lower your chances of the crazy person on the subway talking to you or calling you a sinner.
